I went through one of those automated car washes last week. The menu had tiers: silver, gold, whatever. Those words must have distracted me because somehow one of the add-ons caught my eye: “Sparkling Tire Treatment.” Two or three extra bucks. Sure, why not?
After the wash I pulled into a spot to wipe down the windows. The tires…hmm. A thin mist of something on roughly half the sidewall. Nothing sparkling…in fact, I think they looked worse.
I was annoyed. Not over the three bucks, but that the word “sparkling” had done its job. I paid money without realizing there was no way an automated car wash could even do that. Did I think there was a little guy in there that would sparkle my tires, or maybe his AI equivalent? I felt a bit stupid for not thinking about what was behind the words.
I get that same feeling when someone tells me an AI “hallucinated.”
It’s a great word. Sounds clinical, sympathetic, even. Does it sound to you like there’s a mind in there? Sure feels that way to me.
But I think there is a question you might want to be asking: what is actually happening when your AI lies to you? It may not be that there is a mind making a mistake. And how is that word designed to keep you from seeing something?
You may find the answer interesting, or even valuable. Ask it this: “When people say you hallucinate, what’s really going on? Don’t give me the corporate answer.”
If your AI is like most, it will tell you something like a PhD dissertation…or maybe just a hallucination. Either way, you may realize that there’s a lot more going on behind that word.
And the parts you don’t understand? They might cost you more than a few bucks down the road.
The people who get the most out of AI right now aren’t the ones who trust it. They’re the ones who understand it. The stupid money believes “sparkling tire treatment.” The smart money knows what the machines are doing in the car wash tunnel.
One last thing. You might want to try 303 Automotive (Tire) Protectant. I got it on Amazon last week. $15. Puts the old ArmorAll to shame.
Spray it on a sponge, wipe each tire in about thirty seconds.
They actually sparkle now.
Check out my new book in the making,
The Mostly Helpful Psychopath, serialized free on Substack.
